I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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