It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize