He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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