wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
