I'm going to jail i love you
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
