Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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