i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
