My hair reeks of homosexuality.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
