The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
