You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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