My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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