so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
