Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You ate ashes out of my bong
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
