I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
