Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
