dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
