This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
