So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
do herpes really smell.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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