how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
