Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
