Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize