therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize