I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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