This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
