Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Randomize
