i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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