You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
