Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
