We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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