Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
