Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We have started to decorate penises.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
