i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
