how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
