my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize