he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
