Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
