I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
