I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
