pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
