I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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