is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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