I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Damn victory sex feels great
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