Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
North Korea, Best Korea!
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
