real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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