i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
