I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
