just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just want nice things and good sex
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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