you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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