no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
