I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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