Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
even my farts smell like vagina
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize