What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize