Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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