omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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