Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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