I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
