so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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