I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
