why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
